Justin Desai Nipple TR Read This One (tournament report)

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Justin Desai Nipple TR Read This One (tournament report) is the tournament report Justin Desai posted on DeckTech on 19 July 2001 about July 2001 Meriden tournament.[1] Justin Desai went 3–3 at the July 2001 Meriden tournament with Watch Your Step and Hunt Down podracing; Hayes Hunter won 6–0, Steve Brentson was 2nd and Steve Baroni 3rd.

Report info

Games

Games as the author describes them; margins are as stated in the report.

Round Opponent Author's deck Opponent's deck Result Margin
1 Mike Gemme Dark Hunt Down podracing WYS Loss −14
2 — Light WYS SYC flip Win ('some kid's sycfa flip') +36
3 Brian Hollingworth Dark Hunt Down podracing Hayes' pile with docking bays Win ('Brian Holingsworth (sp?)'; 'win by something like 36 or 38?') —
4 Steve Vallee Light WYS Hoth deck, Steebo style Loss ('steve valee') −12
5 Steve Baroni Light WYS Hoth deck Loss ('steebo') −18
6 — Dark Hunt Down podracing — Win ('some newbie'; 'win by 33?') —

Other results named in the report

Original report

nipple-tr-read-this-one

  • Author: Justin "H2O" Desai
  • Published: Jul 19, 2001
Sorry about the other one folks, spelling was just too bad so I decided to post it again. Still alot of bad grammar and stuff in this one but this one is at least readable. All right. Where to begin? It all started about a month ago, I saw the posting for a CT tourney so for the past two to three weeks I had been bugging my buddy and candidate for coolest man alive, mike gemme to drive down there. Road trips are fun so he is like ok i am in and since he was in so was steebo...steebo and deck, deck and steebo. Kinda like batman and robin, no more like Spiderman and harry osborne(more on this later). So Friday the 13th rolls around and I take the train to hayes’ house and we meet up with pauly m and do some playtesting. I playtest a solid wys and decide to play it rather than my crusty dagobah. I play huntdown racing for dark cuz i am a retard...friday is kinda boring but whatever it was also sorta cool. Well we drive to gemme’s house and just as we get there mike’s sister and her hot friend mckensie(mike’s sis is also hot for those of you who have been living in a cave) walk out. Anyway they are leaving and because of hayes’ horrible parking they come over and talk to us for 2 seconds and this is great...mckensie is like "good luck tomorrow" and i just wink...ds testing--sometimes you don’t need to say anything. Well I get inside his house and take a dump in his bathroom which is connected to his sis’s room with no lock so I am paranoid even though she isn’t even home but whatever. I play mike a few times and he eats all my guys with his sick rancourt deck that he built because he saw this little kid eat like qui gonn jedi luke and obi at a local the week before...I am like play this deck tomorrow because it is hot. Very good against anything that goes to tatooine and good against space too because of court game text...weakness could be qmc though. Well mrs. gemme walks in and i am stunned by her beauty, she is blond and hot...not unlike mrs. baroni and i am shocked that i haven’t heard of her beauty and great breasts...what the hell steebo! So the plan at this point was to drive to andy klema’s house that night and crash with him in ct so we wouldn’t have to drive to ct in the morning. So we leave around 11 and have a cool time in the car...hayes constantly pressures gemme to go faster but gemme is chill and just takes it easy. we go in the carpool lane, we drive through the ghetto at 70 mph. We try to mack girls but it is too late and we can’t get out of the carpool lane anyway. We get to klema’s house and end of story. we play more games and i forget exactly but i win about 2/3 of my games. me and gemme decide to go to bed around 3 and we get put in his den which might double as his meat locker but whatever....I go get blankets for me and gemme and when i get back Gemme is like, "did you get it?" as he waits on his bed. I just burst out laughing because it is a like a condom commercial and i honestly laugh for like 45 minutes. We try to sleep but it is way to cold so around 7 Gemme and me get up but are still in bed and Gemme is like, ’"wanna play a game" I am like ok he is "like lets go" He takes off blanket and has decks in hand It was hilarious...you kinda had to be there. but it was damn good. After that we just chill to it’s time to go, we see this teched out picture of Andy when he is three years old but yet still has his beard so it is all good. We leave kinda late and we hit traffic but we make it ontime and I say we are all going to play ourselves and this turns out to be prophetic. Bah i am getting bored...--the games I am running solid wys w/o dont do that again because I am dumb. And huntdown jizz for dark. game 1--my dark, gemme’s wys solids. Well it cool that we finally get to play each other… but sucks one of us will have to lose the first game...going into this I feel kinda uneasy and think he will beat me because he runs 3 a step backs and can play them from lost pile. So I think about starting someting else and not watto’s box but I say phuck it and lets go for the gold(mistake #1). We it starts out relatively normal, I invade the cantina and he takes space...he draws very good for his race and I draw good but then draw a 1 which sucks. The race is mad close and we are trading drains, but here is the situation: If I win the race I win the game. If he wins the race, the game will be darn close. Well anyway he wins the race despite some pretty teched out moves by me. I flip him back though by getting maul in space, he needs to find melas asap...he does after about 3 turns of doing nothing but drawing. That is pretty much game because he has space and every time a try to duel luke he cancels it. Very good game and i made close to no mistakes, but huntdown podracing doesn’t fare to well when it loses the race. Full loss by 14 Highs: great game...mike is the man. Lows: nada. Other: best feeling loss I have ever had. so Hayes beats mr. @#$% himself shaun macarthy by a bunch. Klema wins, steebo wins...bunch of scrubs win(conn has a lot of really poor players, i mean just there scrubs vs. our scrubs, our scrubs will win). game 2 i want revenge and get matched up against some kid’s sycfa flip. The kid knows the game well and blows alderan, but i have the following out, mad ships at tatooine, i’ll take the leader, han at the cantina, luke at the middle docking bay with saber, and melas at the other docking bay and run luke run in hand...damn that is good. drain 8 a turn...game over in like 10 minutes. Full win by 36. Highs: winning lows: does this prove anything? no. other: I on the edge’d my luke to kill him so I could retrieve more... hayes won again, beating andy, gemme beat a kid. steebo beat somebody who i guess was supposed to be pretty good. So 3rd game i get to play Brian Holingsworth (sp?) klema tells me he’s good. Well he is playing hayes’ pile with docking bays...I just drop my guys to the race arena, so when i cause the 22 force swing, i all of a sudden have the only battle ground on the table with vader, palp, maul and iggy... he tries to fight me a few times with twass khaa..wtf? I just dominate, he cant retrieve because of chybc...i only activate 3 a turn but yet i dominate...Oh well. Win by something like 36 or 38? Highs: domination. Lows: bah Other: His deck (ls) had beaten a kid by 42 prior...hehe funny. So gemme lost, steebo lost, klema won, brentson won, hayes won. In between games we go to mickey dees and i get a big mac and it has a monoploy sticker on it...one of the green ones. I figure i will put it on my nipple. I do it and tell gemme he is like, yeah, tat is funny...not! thinking how it is lame that i didn’t actually do it. whatever. We get back and i get paired up against steve valee’s hoth deck steebo style. Right off the bat i think i am @#$%ed because i don’t play don’t do that again and without it it is a bad matchup for me...well the game starts out alright despite his mad undercover spies, i manage to get out some drains and he drops down like 3 star destroyers at tatooine and lateral damage, i barrier but i am still @#$%ed at the system...about this time, hayes ask me to take the sticker off my nipple because he needs it. I do it while i am deploying jedi luke and hand it to him....next thing i know, everybody in the store, except my opponent, is laughing like mad men...ok end of story. Well i battle his walkers with jedi luke and @#$% and am close to killing him with drains on hoth but then i make the mistake of a lifetime and leave my guys at the 5th marker, both han and luke, (my two edge guys). So he ice storms and i say control from lost pile to cancel it, he says ok but it still makes ’em missing, i say no, we call over somebody(mularky?) and sides with him...i look for hayes or brentson to side with me but they left the store or something..GAY. whatever, i still coulda won but with his drains at tatoooine and 3rd marker he makes short work of me...full loss by 12. Highs: nada Lows: plenty...i would have won by 20-25 if i don’t get assed by ice storm. I made other mistakes too. Other...32 rating points...no! gemme lost again to somebody, hayes beat klema again. brentson won, steebo lost. I play steebo next...basically he is playing the hoth deck, some shady @#$% was going on with him but i wont go into that ’cuz i dont want to diss on my buy steebo, plus it didn’t effect the outcome of the game...He drops 2 ships early and lat damage on theron nett...i lose him and like 8 force. I try to pull the win outta my @#$% by playing celebration and @#$% but he is too strong in space and all my pilots are on the wrong ships(wtf?...dash on the falcon, melas on wedge’s ship and wedge on the skate). It was a cool game with alot of interaction but basically every battle i either had to lose a guy or 2-3 force and i couldn’t handle it...late game garrison wins him the game. Full loss by 18. Highs: Playing steebo Lows: I hate the hoth deck! Other-hayes own again as did klema, gemme lost again. Well i am pretty depressed right now, i am 2-3 but i knowi will win my last game becausei get paired against some newbie...Not much detail on this one, i duel luke, he loses 18 force, i win the race...win by 33? Highs: nada Lows: i had to explain to him what an objective was. Other...see what i mean about ct? So i finish 3-3...not very good but i had fun. My rating will suffer a 60 point hit. So the tourney is over, hayes wins it going 6-0 plus 151(!!!). brentson is second steebo 3rd. mass in 1st and 3rd place...ohhhhhyeaaah. So we wrap up the tourney and i sell a qui gonn to a kid for $30 so i can now eat...me, hayes, steebo, deck, oakes(male striper/td down in conn...maybe you’ve heard of him?) and klema head off to applebees. On the way me and gemme have a discussion about ds jedi testing for women vs. ls testing for women. The conversation is cool esp since we are in separate cars...i tell him he is turning to the darkside and he is like, noooooo! We get in to apple bees and our host/greeter is mad hot and gemme gets his moves in with her and i give him props for that. We take our seats and talk testing and somehow racing gets mixed in...everyone is all about how gemme is dominating me but honestly our waitress is balz and both me and gemme just dont bother after a while because she is just plain nasty. Everyone is like gemme’s testing is so much better, and i am like, maybe you lose a few games with ds testing but, every once and a while, you get the full win by 46 and it is all worth while. Everyone laughs, then thinks about it and is like, "true". We talk some more about how gemme should be spider man and not tobey mcguire and how steebo is harry osborne...klema’s gotta be flash tompson, and i am james dean even though he has nothing to do with spiderman. We also realize(or i realize how teched out my phone number is. Here is why, i say some how, somewhere, there is game of star wars going on where a guy is drawing nine battle destinies in this oreder, 617, 566, 4046. Everyone is like you are homo and i am all proud of my phone number because all the numbers are legal destiny numbers. I make fun of gemme and hayes because they break the rules with just their area codes(978...what the phuck is that? you got two illegal numbers in just the area code!!) Well we eat our food and gemme flashes the applebees but read his tr for more info on that...we leave and try to flash some more but it doesn’t really work. We head back to mass....we try to mack these blondes in a convertible but some harley type dudes get to em first(my ds testing buddies no doubt). We eventually pull up to em but they ain’t that great so we say phuck it. Ride home was cool though. Major props to gemme for driving. I ended up sleeping at hayes house on sat night and am the king of saying card titles to match the mood that night, like eric is putting cream cheese on a baggle and i am like, you may start your landing...i dunno, it was good. Next morning i go to the train station and go back to my house and sleep. good weekend. major props-- Mike gemme, you cool man, nice game we had, you owned me this weekend. Good stuff driving too altho i offered to help you out. Props- hayes-you cool man. i have your shirt now. steebo-you damn good at this game now...time to beat hayes. oakes-you mad cool...run more trs, tell mullarky to go back to the minors. jess gemme and mckensie--they are about to be converted to the ds :) klema--thanks for your house although your cats suck...teched out beard dude. everyone else--i cant think of slops...weekend rocked. peace out Side not to Mike, hayes, steebo and klema. Before august 8th, we have to egt together and do something, even if it ain’t cards. Think of something ill to do...latazz.

See also

Sources

References

  1. ↑ nipple-tr-read-this-one, DeckTech (Justin "H2O" Desai, 19 July 2001). Preservation copy: GitHub Pages.
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