Clint Hays DragonCon Team Smells Like Fish (tournament report)

Clint Hays DragonCon Team Smells Like Fish (tournament report) is the tournament report Clint Hays posted on DeckTech on 3 July 2000 about 2000 DragonCon Team Event. Clint Hays went 4–0 (8 (+69)) for the team Smells Like Fish, Tastes Like Chicken, which won the team tournament at DragonCon 2000, playing the decks he had used to win the Open the night before.

Report info

• Author: Clint Hays (byline: Clint "GameMaster" Hays)
• Published: 3 July 2000 (DeckTech)
• Report title: DragonCon Team Smells Like Fish
• Event: 2000 DragonCon Team Event
• Event date: 1 July 2000
• Site: DragonCon, Atlanta, Georgia
• Finish: 1st
• Record: 4–0
• Points: 8 (+69)
• Dark deck: same Dark deck as the Open
• Light deck: same Light deck as the Open

Games

Games as the author describes them; margins are as stated in the report.

Round	Opponent	Author's deck	Opponent's deck	Result	Margin
1	Chris McClure	Dark	speeders and stuff	Win (report spells him 'chris macclure'; 2 (+18))	FW +18
2	Chris Bentley	Light	ISB ORS scum	Win (report spells him 'chris bently'; 4 (+31))	FW +13
3	Charlie Herren	Dark	Raph's deck	Win ('charlie bad player herren'; 6 (+43))	FW +12
4	Andres	Light	walker garrison with heavy SAC	Win ('andres shadfohwrfadfj guy from miami' (surname a joke); 8 (+69))	FW +26

Side event: 2000 DragonCon Open

The report also covers 2000 DragonCon Open (30 June 2000). Clint Hays won the 2000 DragonCon Open on Friday night ('reasserting my dominance'); covered in his earlier report.

Side event: 2000 DragonCon Death Star II Pre-Release

The report also covers 2000 DragonCon Death Star II Pre-Release (1 July 2000). Clint Hays entered the Death Star II pre-release (a sealed event) at DragonCon 2000 on Saturday; no result given.

Original report

dragoncon-team-smells-like-fish

• Author: Clint "GameMaster" Hays
• Published: Jul 3, 2000

this is a continuance of the other report and im gonna put my ever famous props and slops at the end of this one...you thought i forgot didnt you [still in lazy mode] after im finished reasserting my dominance in the swccg universe friday night we decide to leave and go get some food...since its really late(like 11 or 12) we decide to nix the steak dinner and head to denny's...unfortunately for me the steak dinner was rescheduled for this coming friday when we head to bill's domain for the regional. anyhow...the denny's isnt exactly gay denny's but it'll have to do. steve and i are in for another brownie cuz we want those reflections. jim and bill are up for one but they screw up and split it. jim makes a crucial mistake here...he doesnt eat any of the cake...he just goes for ice cream...not only does it give him bad luck in the team tourney...but he's lactose intolerant so he gets messed up. after another 2 hour meal at the "black denny's" we head back to the hotel for sleep. at this point im not exactly sure im gonna play the next day...sleep doesnt work cuz jim and bill stay up for like 3 hours building 1 deck, but eventually they realize they're only tweaking and 3 hours is a little much... the next day we wake up and im ready to go...i decided to play in the tourney cuz i need rating points...we get down to the con and go the decipher booth...they have these big mara jade cards but they wont give me one for winning the open...so after i pay $25 for the ds2 thing they finally relent and im off to make shannon baksa work just a little harder. after that's taken care of we head to the gaming area and get signed up. team name...Smells Like Fish, Tastes Like Chicken decks...you didnt think i was gonna change em did ya? im too damn good for that on to the games negroes game 1 dark side vs chris macclure speeders and stuff well when he's pullin out his deck he aint to careful about not lettin me see it and i see about 15 speeders. i go slow setting up to avoid beatdown and he drains me for a bit. finally i drop vader and alter flaps. i then come down and flip the next turn. he drops mech failure but doesnt hurt me too bad...he's got all his speeders on one of my sites but im avoiding like a champ. boussh comes to my ice plain but ts3 and ds612 take care of that gayness. some ships appear at kashyyyk to drain for a while and eventually i just drain him out...very uneventful game fw 2(+18) game 2 light side vs chris bently isb ors scum i get both nudjs first turn and draw up to find my grabber...excellent...i grab none shall pass the first time and that's huge...i kill gailid the turn after he drops but he gets another one so i could be in trouble...boussh comes to the ac to slow that stuff down but she gets the nevar treatment...too bad for him i drew another one. so she stays the whole game and lets me drain for icons. i set up at his jp with boshek and a bothan for awhile and we trade drains. eventually ig88 takes care of that...battle plan is limiting what he can do but its hurtin me too since i only draw 1 location the entire game. he drops some stuff on yavin but i get rid of it each time. finally i set up with obi in the rancor pit when he's got about 10-12 cards left...he comes down with 2 ors and track 5 but i smoke and they both die. scum comes out way late but it doesnt do much...it takes me a while to finish him off but after 4 or 5 turns of cat and mouse i finish him off fw 4 (+31) game 3 dark side vs charlie bad player herren ass's deck i know how to beat this pile of @#$% raph calls a deck. i set up early and flip with 3 sites and come down with s+d. opp enf and grabber in opening hand stops the visored first time he plays it. he comes down with many epps early and clears me off all but one site ridding himself of s+d. i finally get kashyyyk and drop ships to drain. afa hits a couple times but once i was able to battle him. ote is out but not hurting. a monnok nets 3 afa and 2 visored and he only plays one more the entire game. vader fears fury so he stays in my hand. melas with gimer come in front of igar in boat and i search for mara...she's there and i battle but he houjix. he finally flip me back with boshek and glig1 but i wipe them out 2 turns later. drains of 2 and 1 eventually do him in...especially after i reflip... fw 6(+43) game 4 light side vs andres shadfohwrfadfj guy from miami his deck was supposed to be walker garrison with heavy sac...he starts plains and perimeter. my hand has 0 locations but that's ok...the rest is nudj, luke, orri, hnemthe, harc and some junk...so i get both nudjs and hark and hnemthe to his 3rd first turn...2nd turn drain for 2 drop luke...3rd turn drain for 2 drop orri...he tries to mount a resistance but all im doing is dropping more guys there. some ships go to coruscant and civil hurts him. the game is over almost as soon as it started. fw 8(+69) so after the game i hand in my card and i see andy macclure at the table...and i say something like "you got me on diff" and he's like "do you wanna play?"...so i say "i dont really wanna play your dark deck"(i know its isb scum which beat steve yesterday...im not worried about losing because i know how to beat the deck...but the game would take forever...would involve too much thinking...and would be no fun at all...not to mention im sick of playing and ive still got a sealed deck to play in)...so he's like "yeah that deck is @#$%in awesome...im a lot better with it that chris(bentley)...its 62-0"...im thinking...who the @#$% cares...you're from alabama... anyhow...i go back and watch bill barely will his last game to give us the gold...we place 2nd, 3rd, 5th, and scrub(you're welcome) and take home some reflections...mine was ass but free ass isnt so bad. we head to food cuz we need to get back for that damn ds2 thing(to be continued...maybe) props and @#$%in slops props -bill gordon for being a @#$%in machine -steve for playtesting -steve for taking all the bad luck away from me -scott anderson for handing me game 6 -juz for tellin us to put our @#$%s on the table -shannon baksa for wearin that costume -the brownie for makin me the best damn player ever -dragon con for being my @#$% slops -andy macclure for being such a @#$% -john hyland for being such a @#$% Clint "GameMaster" Hays guess what... its time... for the... Disclaimer The cracks in the TR are intended as jokes and should be taken as such(except for the ones about andy macclure and john hyland cuz they are some @#$%s).

See also

• 2000 DragonCon Team Event
• Clint Hays
• Tournament reports
• DeckTech tournament reports

Sources

• dragoncon-team-smells-like-fish, stephenskilton.com
• dragoncon-team-smells-like-fish (GitHub Pages)